Bad Endings

And then he woke up...

And she knew he was the man of her dreams and they lived happily ever after...

And the rope snapped taut and broke his neck...

Gazing up into the darkness he saw himself as a creature driven and derided by vanity; and his eyes burned with anguish and anger.  

Bad endings.  We all know them (I'm looking at you Joyce), but let's embrace one for next time.  Write the worst possible ending to a novel for next week--one final paragraph that really puts the nail in the coffin, sealing away the rotting corpse of a work we will only know through its death rattle.  Have fun and see you on the 23rd.

I leave you with these clips from the worst film ever made. Enjoy.

Wall Scrawl Contest -- Solo Novo

For Thursday, we're doing a wall scrawl, courtesy of Solo Novo Press.  It's basically a chance to scrawl your musings, narratives, bromides, clever sayings for all the world to read if the world were, say, a men's bathroom stall or a huge internet message board.  Either way, Solo Novo is having a contest.  THe link is here with full (and clearer) directions.  Remember, we all pledged to submit at least one poem this week.  So get going.  See you Thursday!

http://www.solopress.org/Solo_Press/Submissions.html

Also, here's some nerd graffiti courtesy of the University of Chicago.  

http://www.crescatgraffiti.com/graffiti/b-level-mens-bathroom/

Letters

For this week, follow Joe Wenderoth's lead and write a letter to a specific character or real person.  Have something at stake for both the writer and the receiver.  Hopefully someone will write a letter to one of the mad dogs in this video and ask him what he's holding and if he'll give me some because it looks good (BTW is that Mama Cass singing back up?).  See you all on Thursday.  


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4RnjWLVyMps

Shert Stery

I have a new short story coming out in McSweeney's Quarterly and also on Salon.com right now for free.  Here is the link.  Enjoy!  


http://www.salon.com/books/feature/2010/07/14/patrick_crerand_short_story/index.html

It's been a long time coming....

Hello AWGOWCers...


Sorry for the delays, but I've been busy and--let's face it--the group goes on with or without the blog.  Anyway, we're meeting this Thursday.  The assignment/obstruction is to write a conversation using a code/euphemism/symbol a la Hemingway's story Hills Like White Elephants.   Bon chance, mes amis.


I'll see you there, I promise.

Findings

For next time, write a proem imitating the style of Harper's Magazine's "Findings" section (link below).
http://www.harpers.org/archive/2009/11/0082730

It's a random collection of facts but feel free to make up your own.  See you Thursday at 7.

Bodice the Ripper

For next time, we are writing a proem (no more than a half page) in the style of a bodice ripper/harlequin romance.  It's an exercise in writing badly in the hopes of writing goodly er, uh, better.  Here are a few rules:


one: nothing graphic or rather pornographic, as we are all familiar with anatomy.


two: you must use the following words -- plant, button, trick, fly.


three: you must commit to the basic harlequin conventions, whatever those may be to you, keeping in mind rules one and two.


four: have fun.  


Remember we'll meet the second Thursday of May--that is May 13, not this upcoming week.  See you then at 7.